The Big Brother is a very important part of the Associate Member program.
The "Big Brother" program is a structured mentorship framework that pairs an initiated active member (the Big Brother) with a new Associate Member (the Little Brother). This pairing is meant to help guide new members through their integration into the fraternity, by creating an immediate connection with an already initiated member.
The relationship between a Big Brother and a Little Brother often lasts much longer than the Associate period. It becomes meaningful to them during both undergraduate and graduate years. The Big Brother should not only see that his Little Brother is initiated, but that he also enjoys a strong collegiate experience.
While the pairing process may vary from one chapter to another, the once constant is that time and care goes into ensuring proper pairings, so as to ensure the Big-Little bond can be helpful, meaningful, and mutually valuable.
A Big Brother should:
Be in good standing with the chapter
Serve as a positive role model for his Little Brother
Have similar fraternal and personal interests
Support positive academic performance
Be a listener when needed
Give introduction and explanation of chapter traditions
Hold regular meetings, formal or informal, with his Little Brother
Expect his Little Brother to perform the responsibilities listed below
A Little Brother should:
Meet with his Big Brother at least once each week
Intentionally ask for continual involvement from his Big Brother
Discuss any difficulties and problems with his Big Brother
Look to his Big Brother as a resource for fraternal, academic, and social issues
Expect his Big Brother to perform the responsibilities listed above
So...once Big-Little pairs have been identified, how does the whole thing go down?
Phi Kappa Tau Big Brother / Little Brother Reveal Night
PRE-EVENT SETUP (Facilitator Checklist)
***Important facilitator note: This script intentionally paraphrases ritual language and uses the Candlelight Ceremony in a values and reflection context, not as a formal ritual or test. Follow all campus and national guidance regarding ritual use.
Room reserved, quiet, and approved
Chairs in semi-circle or full circle
Table at front with:
Central candle (or LED)
Four additional candles (founders)
Individual candles (or LEDs) for all participants
Matches/lighter (if permitted)
Big/Little matches confirmed
Letters or reveal materials ready
EVENT BASICS
Length: 60–90 minutes
Location: Quiet campus space (chapter room, community room)
Attire: Casual or business casual (communicated in advance)
Alcohol: Not permitted (PKT Health/Safety standard)
Candles: Use drip guards or LED candles if open flame is restricted
1. Welcome & Purpose (5–7 minutes)
“Good evening, brothers. Thank you for being here tonight.
Tonight marks an important moment in the Phi Kappa Tau experience—the beginning of the Big Brother and Little Brother relationship. This relationship is built on mentorship, trust, and shared responsibility.
Big Brothers are not supervisors or authority figures. They are bridge-builders, guides, supporters, and examples of what it means to live our values. Little Brothers are not expected to serve, impress, or earn approval. This relationship is mutual, respectful, and rooted in brotherhood.
Everything we do tonight aligns with our Fraternity values and our commitment to dignity and respect.”
(Pause)
“Tonight is about connection, legacy, and belonging.”
2. Values Icebreaker: “Why Phi Kappa Tau” (10 minutes)
“Before we reveal Big and Little pairs, we’re going to ground ourselves in why we are here.”
“Please take a moment to think about:
One reason Phi Kappa Tau matters to you
One value you hope to bring to your brotherhood relationships
I’ll invite a few volunteers to share.”
“What you’ll notice is that while our experiences may differ, our values often overlap. That shared foundation is what makes mentorship meaningful.”
3. Big Brother / Little Brother Reveal (20–25 minutes)
“Big Brother and Little Brother matches were made intentionally, based on shared values, interests, and goals. These matches are about growth—not status.”
Reveal Script (Repeat for Each Pair)
“This Big Brother values [provide an example: service, academics, leadership] and joined Phi Kappa Tau because [provide a brief value-based reason].
Please welcome Big Brother: [Name].”
(Big Brother steps forward)
“And his Little Brother is [Name].”
(They meet, shake hands, brief moment—photo optional)
(Repeat until all pairs are revealed)
“Let’s give all of our Big and Little Brothers a round of applause.”
4. Transition to Candlelight Ceremony (5 minutes)
“We now will transition into a moment of reflection.
Phi Kappa Tau’s Candlelight Ceremony reminds us that our Fraternity is larger than any one of us. It connects us to the men who founded this brotherhood and to the generations who will follow us.
This moment is not about secrecy or testing—it is about honoring legacy, responsibility, and the light each brother brings to this organization, and a path that Big Brothers forge for their new little brothers.”
5. Candlelight Ceremony (See script on candlelight ceremony) (20–25 minutes)
Lighting the Central Candle
“This central candle represents the enduring spirit of Phi Kappa Tau—the principles upon which our Fraternity was founded and the values that continue to guide us.”
(Light central candle)
Lighting the Founders’ Candles
(Four designated brothers step forward, one at a time) (Use electric candles, not real ones)
“Each of these candles represents the courage, character, and commitment of our founders. Their vision created the brotherhood we are part of today.”
(Each candle is ‘lit’ from the central flame)
Lighting the Brotherhood
“As we share this light, we are reminded that Phi Kappa Tau is strongest when each brother contributes his own.”
(Candles are passed safely; brothers light their candles)
“Take a moment of quiet reflection. Consider:
What does brotherhood mean to you?
What responsibility do you carry as a member of Phi Kappa Tau?
How will you help strengthen this chapter for those who come after you?”
(Pause for 20–30 seconds)
Reflection Close
“Just as one candle can light another without losing its flame, so too can we support one another without diminishing ourselves. This is how we build bridges—from one brother to the next, from one generation to the next.”
6. Mentorship Expectations & Pair Reflection (10 minutes)
“Big Brother and Little Brother relationships succeed when expectations are clear.”
Ask Pairs to Discuss Quietly:
One goal for this semester
One way the Big Brother will offer support
How often they plan to check in
“There is no perfect Big Brother and no perfect Little Brother—only brothers willing to show up for one another.”
7. Closing (5 minutes)
“Tonight is not the end of a process—it is the beginning of a relationship.
Big Brothers, your role is to support, not control, build a bridge
Little Brothers, your role is to engage, not perform, cross that bridge when it has been built, ask for directions, but most importantly prepare to be a bridge builder yourself.
Together, you share the responsibility of living out the values of Phi Kappa Tau.”
“Let us carry that responsibility with pride, humility, and purpose.”
POST-EVENT FACILITATOR REMINDERS
Follow up with Big Brothers within one week
Check in with New Members for concerns
Reinforce that mentorship ≠ authority
Document event for chapter records